Defining 2014 As A Wonderful Mess

It's no secret that this year has been anything but my best year yet, but it has been my most defining year. With the end of 2014 quickly approaching, I find myself struggling to put in words how I feel. I have been blessed with many opportunities and gifts alongside some disappointments and heartache. I've struggled with negativity. Battled myself more than I ever have. Between my family issues, being diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety, claiming my friendship with 3 wonderful girls as a goner, setting focus on my goals, and the move to Houston, I have become most aware of who I really am then I have ever been.

I am obviously incredibly thankful for the man that I am lucky enough to call my better half. Without him I'd still be floating around with my head barely above water and only trying to please everyone around me without a worry in the world about what I want. Because of him I will be going back to school in the fall for my bachelors in Architecture. Justin was the life line that I could have used many moons before, but his timing was impeccable. I struggled with our relationship in the beginning because I was fresh out of the very serious and committed relationship. And he struggled to find a balance between the friend he'd always been to me and loving me as more than a friend. I am so thankful for our struggles, our adventures, and the time we have shared together. This last year, I have finally understood what it looks like to have a man by my side and not in front of me. The support and love Justin always shows me is what helped make this year a little softer of a blow. I am stronger, more driven, and more motivated than I have been since high school.

I am blessed with 2 amazing companies that absolutely spoil me. The first being HEB which has given me the ability to easily move to Houston, allowed me to have incredibly affordable insurance, and unexpectedly gives me bonuses and benefits when timing couldn't be any more eminent. I came to HEB hating every aspect of retail, especially the management. I have been absolutely blessed now with not just one, but two, management teams for whom I have the utmost respect and love for. My team at Waco 1 was one of a kind. They were my dream team and will always hold a special place in my heart. They were my friends, coaches, cheerleaders, shoulders to cry on. I honestly do not know what would have happened to me if I hadn't been lucky enough to have them at my side when I was going through everything. And now in Houston, I have an amazing manager who has taken me under his wing. My transition to Houston could have been a lot more difficult, but I found Jeff. In February, I will be helping open my second HEB as Jeff''s lead and I could not be more thrilled. He and Alan manage very similarly as well as have similar personality traits which has been an absolute blessing to me because I know I don't have someone just blowing smoke up my butt.

My second company is obviously Younique. I have been in absolute awe of the amazing women who have done nothing but encourage, love, pray for, and teach me since the moment I became a presenter. I am able to give Justin and I a date night once a month with the money I make from Younique and that is plenty for me. Most of these women I have not had the pleasure of meeting personally, but that has not changed anything for a moment. I have a better relationship with some of them then I have with people who are actually in front of me. God placed Younique and these amazing women in my life at just the right time.

Lastly, I have to love on mine and Justin's families. I had a rocky start at the beginning of the year with my own family, that strengthened the bond I had already built with Justin's mom and brother. A bond which I will always be thankful for. I know that at the end of the day I could go to either of those two about anything, and they would do everything in their power to help me out. They have been mine and Justin's saviors many times in the last year. And after months of barely speaking and trying to work things out, I am thankful for the relationship I have been able to repair with my family. We may not always see eye to eye, but they are finally learning that I am going to live my life according to my own decisions. Those "lost months" were difficult for me, but I knew I had to stand my ground. Today, I am completely thankful for the determination I had, the ones who stood by me and let me know it was okay what I was doing, and ultimately the love that my family endures for me that led them back to me. Things still aren't perfect for us, but we take everything with a grain of salt and day by day. I don't expect them to always agree with my decision or have something positive to say about my goals any longer, and they no longer expect me to walk in  room and not shock them with some big news I need to share.

I'd be lost and alone without those I listed above. A year ago, I was barely hanging onto an tube in the middle of the ocean with air leaking fast. The best thing that could have happened to me was exactly what did. I'd be absolutely foolish to think otherwise. So 2014 thank you for being so defining...I fought back the desire to use the word tragic. Thank you for the many blessing I accrued. And a HUGE thank you to every single person (or group) I mentioned. Sincerely, thank you! My life is still a mess, but it would not be the wonderful mess it is now without each of you playing your role.

-XOXO