1. We say mean things to each other on occasion. You are probably thinking I'm crazy, but it's truth. Occasionally we get so mad at each other that we can't bottle it in anymore and we just say it. We don't run to other people talking crap about one another, and THAT is what saves our relationship. We know that when we say those mean things to one another, we are only saying it to each other. We immediately forgive and forget. We don't do it regularly, but every few months...we have a vent sesh and then everything is good again.
2. We always tell each other we love each other before we go to sleep and when we wake up. I know this seems simple and obvious, but you take for granted small things like that. And when you have chaotic schedules like ours, it makes the long, difficult days a little easier to deal with.
3. We never go to bed mad or sleep separately. It amazes me how many couples I hear say they went to bed mad at each other and/or slept separately from each other because of a disagreement. I can't think of a single time in our relationship where we have gone to bed upset with each other or not slept in the same bed after an argument. Believe me I have moments where I want to tell Justin to sleep on the couch, but I don't have that right. Our bed and our room is sacred, and we keep it that way by sorting out differences out after every disagreement.
4. We enjoy time apart from each other. When we lived in Temple in our 3 bedroom house, it was much easier to find time and the space to have alone time. Living in our 630 square foot apartment, proved to make that task difficult at times, but we manage. I believe being selfish with our alone time once or twice a week is necessary for our relationship to work. I love Justin with all of my heart, but I cannot watch TV or play video games all day and as much as I enjoy his friends...they aren't mine. It's been an unspoken requirement for the two of us since day one to have hobbies outside of our relationship. We don't ask permission to go hang out with our friends, we just inform each other and go.
5. On the flip side, we make time for one another. With both of us working retail, we sometimes go several days only seeing each other for just a few minutes a day or while each other is sleeping. We make an effort each week to spend at least an hour together. That means no video games, no work, no friends, limited phone time. Just the two of us and Tarly. Even if it's just watching a TV show or movie together, running to the grocery store, or going for a walk...we make the time. It's important to not take our time together for granted.
6. We have fun! I feel like couples forget to have fun these days. With times being hard, work being entirely too important to most people, and media/entertainment in the comfort of your home taking over...we forget what fun actually looks like. We LOVE exploring and museums. We try at least once a month to go do something new in Houston. Laughing and joking around makes those silly fights we have totally worth it.
7. We are honest with each other. Women...WE ARE PSYCHOS! There I said it. Get over yourselves. If you ask your man if you are fat or even dare to call yourself fat in front of him, don't get mad if gets honest with you and agrees. I hate that men feel like they can't be honest with women. I ask Justin if I look like I gained weight or if I look fat in an outfit, and he tells me the truth, I respect it, and if I get mad, it's at myself for allowing that to happen. And on the same level, I'm totally honest with Justin...when we started dating and he was gaining weight, I told him. And when his beard started looking gross and it was time to shave, I told him. It makes our bond stronger!
8. We support each other. This looks a couple different ways in our relationship. There is the side where we support each other's goals and dreams. We encourage one another daily to go after those and we have each other's back when it comes to actually grasping them. And there is the emotional side. We have bother been through a lot of shit through the years...Justin as a marine and myself, well, my life is just one giant mess. This is a little more difficult for me at times. I grew up being a very nurturing person and there have been times in our relationship when I've just wanted to hold Justin while he hurt, but I've had to learn to support him by reminding him I love him, patting him on the back, and giving him his space. And then when I've needed emotional support, it hasn't always looked the way, I'd hoped. Justin hugs me, loves me, and gives me my space and sometimes, I want someone to be emotional with me, but I'm learning.
9. We aren't rushing the future. I've found my soulmate, the one my heart desire and soul longs for. But that does not mean, I'm rushing to the alter. We are in no hurry to get hitched, and we are okay with that. It's a running joke between us that we are committed roommates. And honestly, I wouldn't want to be anyone else's committed roommate. We are just enjoying the moment we are in, and no wasting time planning out every step of our future. I love...LOVE...this right now and I see no reason to go any faster to the courthouse than necessary.
10. We critique each other constantly. What it really comes down to is we are judgmental people and instead of taking our rath out on others constantly, we use it with each other. We are harsh and real with each other, but it only turns the heat up on our relationship more, I think.
Remember I am NOT claiming these things will work in your relationship, but these are things that work in ours. They make our relationship one of a kind, enjoyable, and crazy. We love it!!!
-XOXO
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