My Ode to the Ex Box

Before I began serious dating, the idea of a box full of collections from an ex was silly to me. That was until I found myself ending my 3 plus year relationship. That is 3 years of letter, pictures, gifts, knicknacks, tickets, and scrapbooks that I had held onto that no longer filled a purpose in my life. But I couldn't just throw those things out even though I knew that I would never return to my ex. This was a boy that had been my best friend and accomplice for the last 3 years. The one person I had talked to almost every single day. I could not find it in myself to throw all of those trinkets away.

I took everything...tshirts, my build-a-bear, letters, cards, tickets, pictures, a ring, ect...it all went into a box within the week of the breakup. The build-a-bear was quickly returned to my side because a.) I was in dire need of a cuddle buddy and b.) I paid for most of it ( he contributed a little money, but not enough for me to shun the only object I had for cuddling). I woke up from my nap one day soon after the break up to another box. His box. His box of stuff that I had given him through the years that he could not bear to look at any more. The only thing I could think about was all of the money I had spent on those things. Then I noticed the one item I would have appreciated back (a Carhart jacket) was not to be found in the box. But hey, it's cool. I bought it for him. I'm still a little bitter about that jacket. Mostly because he was negligent with my gift. I bought him one. He lost it. And so being the awesome girlfriend I was...I bought him another. Those jackets aren't cheap ya know! And I was just working part-time back then. Okay vent session over.

I tried many times to give him his stuff back. The tshirts he wanted nothing to do with. The ring. I tried so hard to give him that ring. He would never take it. I put it in my car at one point when I went to Ft. Worth to visit a friend so I could just drop off to him while I was in the area, but my car decided to devour the ring. It has never been seen again. Eventually the two boxes were combined, and I removed all of the tshirts because being the tshirt hoarder that I am, I couldn't just let them go to waste. The box made several moves with me since the break up and even found a home in storage at one point. I rediscovered the box when Justin and I went to get my stuff out of storage during our move to the duplex in Temple. It was shoved into a corner and again forgotten about until we began to move to Houston. At some point it was loaded into my trunk, but never made its way into our apartment. This was mine and Justin's chance to escape our previous relationships, and I did not want that box of tainted memories in our precious new home tainting our love and devotion for each other.

So there it sat for several months. In my truck. Being shifted around between all of the flat tires. Never once making it into my apartment until I cleaned my car out for sale the other day. For a moment, I was swept with sadness. The box that contained 3 years of my life. 3 years of my life that most people who know me today has no idea existed. I reminisced over those 3 years again once the box was in my apartment. But I wasn't sad this second time. I was thankful. Thankful for the experience and growth of those 3 years. Thankful for the woman I have become. Thankful for the amazing man that I now have standing beside me granting my every wish, hope, and dream like some type of fairy godmother...err ummm godfather, I guess. Thankful that I know what love is supposed to look like. And most of all thankful for my life now...almost 2 years post-breakup. I will never get the money back I spent on those things in that box. I will never have any need for of the items found in that box ever again. It's always difficult so say goodbye to something you once treasured, or someone, but those tears have long been shed, goodbyes told, and memories half forgotten. The last thing left to do is...dump the box. And it gives me great pleasure to do so. 

Not everything in my prior relationship was all bad, but not everything was good either and definitely not great. I've never once hated my ex, granted I've wanted to punch him in the face very firmly a few times, maybe even a kick in the nads would have served its purpose. But this that I have right here...well its something of an allusion. It's a unicorn relationship. So rare that most don't believe that they exist, but oh do they ever. I have no need for an ex box any longer. In fact I haven't in a long time, but I think I needed some time and a little reassurance. Now I say au revoir! The things in this box once served their purpose, but now their purpose is to fill the landfill. And I am just peachy with that!!

-XOXO