ISO: A Best Friend

I read a blog earlier that a girl wrote to her best friend. A thank you letter. After reading it, I became consumed with this emptiness inside me. I have no one in my life with whom I feel that way towards currently...other than Justin who does not count for obvious reasons. My entire life, I have had a small group of 2 or 3 close friends for a few years then we were no longer in the same classes, or they moved away, or we lost touch the second we walked the stage, or college and relationships got too serious, or my ever frequent excuse...we got pissed at each other. I have a collection of friends, but none are my "soul mate." None that I can truly say are my BEST friend. I love my friends and all of the support they provide me, but I long for the relationship that every other girl on this planet seems to have and I am completely missing.

I long for a friend who gets pissed off at me and tells me. I'm tired of GIRLS who either a.) just stop talking to me so that I never find out what I did wrong to anger her or b.) starts talking behind my back and makes snotty ass comments in the midst of making up so that I no longer want to continue the friendship. I am far from perfect and I am not reminded of that enough at times. Other times, I am not loved enough for my imperfections. Cain't a girl just get some love?! Don't be a bitch about it, but tell me when I am being selfish, and then love me while I try to fix it. I am selfish a lot. But I guarantee 90 % of the time I don't realize it because it's always been me, myself, and I. Don't act like a basic bitch. I don't have time to play these childish games. I want someone who will be real with me, fight with me, and love me at the end of every day. I am so tired of listening to girls who act like a basic bitch complain about other basic bitches. Hello, you were doing that exact thing 2 days ago!!

I want someone to vent to. Do you know how hard it is to vent to your boyfriend about your boyfriend? It does not work. Justin is so patient and loving that he almost always listens and doesn't complain, but it has caused problems. Sometimes I need to vent about girl problems, and Justin doesn't seem to grasp the fact that when I say I'm dying from cramps during my menstrual cycle that I really feel like my insides will erupt all over the bedroom. A much more bloody, gory, graphic mess then he ever saw in war, and I fully understand that seriousness of my statement. I want someone that I can call in the middle of the night who will come over with Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and a Big Red in hand to cry with. I can't remember the last time I had a good cry session with a friend while watching a chick flick. And let me tell you...it is way over due. 

I need an accountability partner and someone who will help me stay motivated. I'm not talking about someone who is going to sit on the other end of the phone cramming down their 3rd slice of pizza while telling me I can train for a 10k. No. I NEED someone who will drag my ass out of my house, stand on the track with a megaphone, and scream at me how worthless I am until I'm puking and crying simultaneously if that's what it takes. I need someone who wants me to meet my dreams and goals just as much, if not more than me. I need someone who challenges me and makes me better every day. 

I want your family to invite me in like I am another one of their kids, and I guarantee you my mom will do just that with you. I want us to be apart of one another's families not just each others lives. You're my soul mate, my sister from another mister, the void in my heart that a man just cannot fill. You are going to be one of the most important people in my life for eternity so you might as well be apart of the family too. 

And last but not least, I want someone who loves me for who I am. Every flaw, scar, secret, mistake. I don't want to wear a mask or pretend to someone I just am not. I want to feel comfortable sharing my darkest of secrets with you. You can judge me, just as long as you love me through it. Because I will do the same for you. I'm just tired of lying about loving Mean Girls. I think it is a terrible movie because that is exactly how girls act these days. Please don't be a mean girl. Just love me for me. I promise you this, if you become my best friend...I will love you with all of my heart. We will have a Rory and Lane kind of relationship. I want to ache when I miss you and feel relieved of that when we are together. I am often told I love too fast and too hard. Despite all of my failed friendships...I love each and everyone of those girls still to this very day. 

I am taking applications so apply within.

-XOXO