Wednesday, July 9, 2014

We Are Far From Perfect

It has been brought to my attention that I tend to act like mine and Justin's relationship is perfect. Well, that's because in my eyes it is. We have worked damn hard to get to the point we are at in our lives and relationship. Yes, we have struggles, we argue occasionally (however I can still count on a single hand the amount of times we have fought), we tend to break each other down from time to time not meaning to, but all in all I couldn't ask for a better relationship.

Justin has been one of closest, dearest, and best friends for years now. So when I say I am in love with my best friend, I am not being a typical basic girl. I truly mean exactly that. He watched me struggle through a relationship that would ultimately end just shy of self-destruction on my part. He let me cry on his shoulder for hours the night I finally decided I could not fight for a relationship with a man who was not willing to fight for me. Justin didn't ask questions, never spoke a harsh word, and just loved me through it all. I put Justin through hell when I ultimately decided we could see where things would go. I was so back and forth with a promise of engagement being madly waved in my face. However I finally grew up and realized it would never work between my ex and I the way we wanted and that the man who wanted me the most, deserved so much better than me. Justin was persistent that I was too good for him and that he wasn't deserving of me, but I knew all along that he was the one that deserved better than me. We had a lot of differences in the beginning...hell who am I kidding, we still have a lot of differences. But we make it all work.

My friends joke about me being a princess...okay it's not a joke, I truly believe I am a princess, and I am still waiting on my crown. The truth of the matter is I've never felt less than princess since I started seeing Justin. We may be broker than sin 99% of the year, scrambling for money week after week, and eating Ramen more than the average college student, but he still manages to treat me to a date once a month and come up with some of the best damn gifts a girl could ask for her birthday and Christmas. I'm not big on celebrating Valentine's Day, I could care less about anniversaries, and I don't need flowers to feel loved (I swear I am a female). But Justin knows when I text him to say I've had a long day and I'm headed home, I need at least 10 minutes of cuddle time. Or when it's cold outside, a fire in the fireplace is my cup of tea. He knows I just want to find the smokiest, grungiest dance hall in the state and half-step until I can't even walk, that a bottle of wine, crafting, and a chick flick is my cure all, and that a handle of whiskey will make my eyes light up more than diamonds.

This life we have made together in the last year and half, it's not perfect, but it's ours. I don't want perfection. Perfect people are fake liars. I mean HI, I was one of those people for the 3.5 years I was with my ex. Nothing good comes out of being fake or lying, trust me I know.
So while I may joke about Justin and I having the perfect relationship, I'll also be the first to tell you we struggle every day. Waking up next to my best friend every morning and "I love you, baby," being the last thing I hear every night makes those daily struggles a little less painful. So forgive me for expressing my love that way, next time I'll be sure to direct anyone with the same question to this friendly little disclaimer.

-XOXO

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