I still have an amicable relationship with my first boyfriend, but he almost doesn't count because we dated for like 6 weeks our senior year. YES, I was a senior in high school before I started dating...judge me. He was my first kiss, but we were headed in two separate directions. I am glad to have him as a friend still well into our twenties. He's always been there when I needed him most. Even when we haven't stayed in touch as much as we would like, I know I can still count on Hunter.
My second relationship lasted all of 5 months. I swore, at 18 years old, I had found love. HA! Ryan and I had a hell of ride. We had a really shitty breakup though that to this day, I still don't understand. He and I will get in touch with one another every so often, but at this stage in my life, I have unfortunately realized he is not someone I greatly desire to keep in touch with. He always wonders where things would have gone had he not broken up with me, and my response is always the same...you'll never find out. I know my worth, and I am worth so much more now then I was 5 years ago.
My third relationship...where do I even begin?! Tyler was the one I was convinced I was going to marry. But 3 years and 2 months (2.5 of those years being 97 miles apart), 2 trips to jail, countless lies, too many compromising situations, more tears than necessary, too much heartache, and one final goodbye later I ultimately ended the relationship. I struggled for 6-8 months with that decision. I loved Tyler, but I was not "in love" with him anymore. I went to bed crying many nights asking God to help me find it in my heart to feel that again, but I just couldn't. It was a pain staking decision that made me out to be the bad guy because I had lied to everyone I knew for so long about how "perfect" our relationship was simply because I wanted a wedding (notice I say wedding and not marriage, there is a huge difference between the two) more than anything. I was accused of cheating after the breakup. Let the records show, that I have never nor will I ever cheat on any man. The breakup was terrible. We have barely spoken or seen each other since and it's probably for the best. If I ever run into him again, I will probably die of a panic attack because there is so much animosity between each other still to this day. Things could have been a lot different if he would have put effort into our relationship sooner, but he waited until I was half way out the door and I wasn't turning back around...I couldn't. I didn't have the energy. I don't hate him, never have, never will. But he blames me for things, and I'm convinced things were happening during our time together that he won't admit to.
If it wasn't for those 3 guys messing things up like boys so, I wouldn't be with Justin right now. I thank God I went through the heartache and bullshit because I finally realize what true love is and what a real man looks like. I also thank God Texas is a big state so I don't have to see those 3 guys if I don't want to. God bless Justin for putting up with me, and God bless Texas for being the greatest state in the nation.
-XOXO
P.S. All hail King George. & God bless him for bringing us some of the best music.
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